<p>Good morning! Today's my 65th birthday and this is my 9th year of 30 day birthday month yoga. Adriene, you are the gift that truly lasts all year long. Thank you for keeping me moving and motivated all these years. You are one of best parts of my daily routine! Wishing everyone a lovely, rooted day. 💗</p>

<p>I feel moved this morning to be really honest - while I’m physically safe and have a trauma informed therapist helping me, I don’t feel safe bc I haven’t yet managed to take more than the first steps to eventually break away from an emotionally and verbally abusive family dynamic, the parents of whom live in the neighborhood next door, and whom I’m currently financially dependent on. Nothing quite like learning at 32 that half the fam are narcs and that’s the root of my C-PTSD, which I have been seeking help for since about 2010 and only got identified last year. And others keep jumping to the defense of those who have harmed me, unwittingly mimicking the same forces that diminished my sense of self. Felt the urge to call on the community to send good vibes or prayers or whatever you want in support, I need it! Today I took that whole, tearing the mat in half with your feet, image to the whole practice in hopes of letting out some rage. </p>

<p>As Adriene was doing her intro I was marking my talley sheet (is there a way to keep track of excersices on the app?). Anyway, I wadnt looking at the screen, and when she asked Benji if he was ready I thought she was literally talking to me? Lol, that was very funny.</p>

<p>My body wouldn’t even go near lifting my back leg up in the warrior-esqu pose! Am I alone? Whatever muscles are needed apparently I don’t have 😝🤣</p>

<p>Loving the beginning to my day every day through Flow. Found it a struggle to lift the knees just that little bit. Reminds me that I’m human… strong days &amp; not so strong days ….flow 🙏❤️</p>

<p>Wow..after 7 years of YWA. Today was the first time heels on the ground in the squat!</p>

<p>Frequently, when I’m intentionally working with the Root Chakra… I’ll think of what the Root Chakra symbolizes and what energy is stored there… especially since my legs have been hurting for years now. It’s something that I wrestle with… wondering if I hurt because I’m injured physically or injured physically because my Root Chakra aka: identity and sense of spiritual/life direction or trauma is stored there and I just can’t seem to heal my sense of identity, direction or stored trauma. </p><p>It’s discouraging sometimes, one way or another. I can’t run anymore and I tried dancing this morning but all my movements hurt… maybe I’m just getting old and I need to redirect my energy outlets. I miss the freedom of painless movement. </p>

<p>I couldn’t do the rising up from kneeling thing. I feel weak but am trying to reframe it as that I learned something about my body today and it’s a challenge I can work on. Hoping to do the next practice tonight and then just have just one more to catch up on so I can finish together with everyone. I usually don’t worry about that too much but feel like it would be nice this time since it is the last one.</p>

<p>clarity through fog</p><p>pressing up against the earth</p><p>warming unseen roots</p>

<p>Today I practiced patience with myself. My body is feeling a little run down and my legs extra tired - fell out of some poses or modified others. Still grateful for the time spent on my mat</p>